Cephalopodcast

We had a shark bite in Sarasota Bay recently. A hapless New College student went night swimming and got nibbled on by a (suspected) bull shark. She is expected to recover after receiving several dozen stitches. If you care to see the damage, she has posed for inspection.

Remarkably, it is only the seventh reported unprovoked¹ shark bite in Sarasota County since 1882. These statistics are literally kept on file at the International Shark Attack File. They advise not being in the water during darkness or twilight hours when sharks are most active and have a competitive sensory advantage. Indeed. My buddy SB and I didn’t follow that advice in our undergrad days either. We took a couple turns snorkeling along Lido at sunset. But the severed head of a stargazer and a disemboweled cownose ray were pretty good clues we weren’t alone.

Of course, I kind of like the notion put forth by NBA star Gilbert Arenas. He recently opined that there are no such things as shark attacks:

There are these things called shark attacks, but there is no such thing as a shark attack. I have never seen a real shark attack. I know you’re making a weird face as you’re reading this. OK people, a shark attack is not what we see on TV and what people portray it as. We’re humans. We live on land. Sharks live in water. So if you’re swimming in the water and a shark bites you, that’s called trespassing. That is called trespassing. That is not a shark attack.

A shark attack is if you’re chilling at home, sitting on your couch, and a shark comes in and bites you; now that’s a shark attack. Now, if you’re chilling in the water, that is called invasion of space. So I have never heard of a shark attack. When I see on the news where it’s like, “There have been 10 shark attacks,” I’m like, “Hey, for real?! They’re just running around? Sharks are walking now, huh! We live on the land, we don’t live underwater.”

Perhaps the co-ed would have been less attractive had she slathered on some Shark Defense. This is a new sun tan lotion that purports to also repel sharks. Testing for the product took place at the Bimini Biological Field Station. This is also the location where a classic Mythbusters segment was filmed, one dealing with the notion that sharks can smell one single drop of blood in a thousand drops of water. It’s a shame Discovery hasn’t cottoned on to the idea of letting users embed their video into posts, a la Comedy Central. But you can follow the links below to see how Adam Savage and Jamie Hyneman used condoms and syringes to bust this myth.

• Shark Week Mini Myths: Can Shark Detect a Drop of Blood
• Discovery Channel’s MYTHBUSTERS hit the Bimini Biological Field Station
• Gilbert Arenas: There Are No Such Thing as Shark Attacks
• Florida Student Recounts Shark Attack, Shows Off Her Wound
• Florida student mauled by shark
• It’s the stuff of horror: a bay jaunt, and a shark
• Shark repellant + sun tan lotion: Fin be Gone

Unprovoked attacks are defined as “incidents where an attack on a live human by a shark occurs in its natural habitat without human provocation of the shark.”